Why

No answer comes to mind.
Why, can't a medium be found to share the creativity.
it desires release unsurrendering to paper.
A safe this cranium becomes.
A paradox, like guernica under white paint.

Blood

To the one who has died and rose again
Your streeming Red
Everything we gain
It was all shed
From you

Because the pain you endured
While on that tree
We were ensured
To be free
From us

That isn't the end
There is so much more
You have called us to send
We are to go and reach out for
everyone

Tell the whole gospel
The ministry of suffering
The pain of knowing some will repel
Pick up the Cross share the joy of losing
self
 

Love

I can't think of a real way to say what I want. There is so little that I can say. I guess more than anything I miss you. It still hurts to think about. I pray that it wasn't so. I can't help but feel the loss. To love someone you lose. To watch it all become nothing. Is it pain that i feel? Or is it mere sentimentality. I tell myself so often that there will be something far better. Most of the time it doesn't feel that way. I miss you. I miss the conversations we had. I want so much to understand the reason. I guess I just need to trust that God is a better judge than me. Forgive me and remember me. In the end I will have to let you go. In the end it will be better. In the end.

lack

God,

There is no praise that can uplift you higher than you are
You rule the skies, water trembles at your breath
How is it that we think we bring you praise that you need. Are songs are so small in comparison to the vastness of the unending. Do you need such a small vapor? How can it be? We are as finite as possible while we try to relate to the unextinguishable. What can we say that will raise your name higher than it already is. You speak and angels and demons obey. You wisper and the worlds tremble. Who are we to bring you any praise? What does our heart have that is not already yours? How do we dare deny the almighty?

~inspired by C.S. Lewis and David

Yearning

God,
A word
A feeling
A desire
A being

Yearning for you
Searching for your words
Looking for your life
Hopeing for your passion

I want so much
I desire you more
Take all that I hold dear
So you can be my all

I fear
I agonize
I hope
I long

God in the end all I want is to be used by you. I can not voice the feeling, desire inside. I have nothing that will do. God hear the groaning in my heart. Hear and return it with something that will last in your kingdom. I want you, Let me throw all my other desires off. Let me run this race. Let me die so that I can live. Let me fly.

Learning

Yea life is hard sometimes
Yea death takes life
Yea I am not perfect
That used to get me down
I used to feel lonely and lost
I wasn't good enough
I wasn't free
I didn't have anyone to explain the truth
I didn't understand what Jesus did
I didn't understand who I was
I thought I was going to fail
I thought I was not good enough for my dreams
I thought I wasn't something that God could use continuosly
God changed my thinking
He set me free
Now I see
something completely
Not of me or who I am
I am not different
but my perception is
I saw my faults
I see grace given freely
I saw past failures
I see hope
I saw nothing worth while
I see Jesus Christ
You see I wanted something so badly while knowing that I couldn't achieve it. I wanted so badly to be an instrument but knew I wasn't good enough. I focused on my own problems while drowning in despair. No one ever told me the truth no one sat me down and explained who I am. I am Sam Allen I am a son of God. There is nothing more that needs to be said about my character. You see Christ's love didn't save me because of who I was or what he wanted to use me for. I was more than a tool for God. He saved me cause he sent his son for all people. I was one of those people. Christ died so that I can be loved continously and without fail. I didn't understand grace. Grace is the complete covering of all failings by God with his own spirit. He takes everything good or bad in me he covers it with his son's blood. He fills me with his spirit. He then gives me his perfection to use for his glory. He fills me with love. He gives me desires to serve him and then he fulfills those desires for me. I live in him and he completes what he set out to do through me and in me. He is faithful and just to complete the good work that he started in me.

I know what i want to say but I don't know how to say it
These feeble words lack the meaning
I want to shout for joy at the fact that I am free
I want to dance because I have been redeemed
I will