Force

I am going to break the code once again, since I can not think of any good poems or at least poems that I don't mind writing I think I am just going to post some thoughts. What have I been thinking? Home that is an interesting comment you see I spent almost all of the day in the library today reading a book that parallels very loosely the act of Jesus dying for our sins. It was a loose jumble of what has happened and what is praised to happen with the second coming. It was quiet interesting to read a good book to read in itself. Add to that the deeper meanings of some of the "symbology" of the book and it becomes a thinker. The main plot behind the book is a bunch of people who live in the complete dark day and night. They live by the sea and die by the sea. There is nothing but momentary flashes of light to brighten there world. There religion is based on one who comes from the world above (they live in the depths of the earth) to show them the light. This man will bring forth their ascent to the light above and to real life once again. This is quite obvious to the Jews, it even parallels us as well, they walked in the spiritual darkness without having received the light and salvation of Christ yet. Once the light came no one recognized it. The Jesus figure of the book was a crippled disfigured little man who could not even walk on his own two feet. He had to use canes to move. This cripple who no one understood and who always spoke in riddles comes to be at the end of the book salvation for all those who would accept it.

Why am I posting this? I am not truly sure myself other than my heart has been stirred lately. I don't know what else to do. It seems sometimes that I have no outlet in too which I can share these thoughts. Even if I did it seems that my words would not suffice to communicate the depths of longing in my heart. Have you ever longed so dearly for something that was completely out of reach? Do you ever starve for the truth but find only shadows and glimpses? Do you long for the whole light only to catch glimpses and reflections? Right about now I am wondering what my title has to do with this post. Well maybe it is the ever unchanging force behind all things. That mysterious force that compels us onward at the same time it feels narrowly out of reach. Something just out of grasp flickering just beyond the edge of our sight. This haunting presence wills me to follow more closely to what I know is true, to believe the promises of one who was and is born of spiritual light. This thing reminds me that there is a God who is much bigger than I. It reminds me of what I am. A lost child, a lonely recluse, a man searching for purpose bigger than himself, A human that has to believe that we can live in unity with each other. A being that has been given hope even when he has only grief.

Who has granted me this transformation? How can such a man who comes from such sordid a past claim such things? It is something I can not answer. It is a free gift something that I could not acquire. No. This was a gift of a God who is righteous but at the same time loving. A God full of mercy and wrath at the same time. A God that seems a vast complex of Ironies. It is something I can not claim. It is something I can not even truly explain. It is the miraculous.