falling

He looked at her with a sad smile. Could he ever tell her how he really feels? He longed for nothing more to look at her and tell her the truth. That he thought he might love her. That he was pretty sure she was the one for him. That they would make a good team. That she should join him for this long walk called life. He wanted to and the words were on the tip of his tongue. They just would not come out.
He was terrified. What would she think? Would she believe him and feel the same way? Would she laugh and take it as a joke?
Sometimes he didn't even understand it himself. What was it about her that drove him so crazy? It defied logic. He should have walked away or at least told her to screw off so many times. He hadn't, partly because they were such close friends. Another part was because no matter what she was still there in his mind and heart. "Why", he cried so many times.
"I want to run and escape forget about you."
He couldn't she was there with him in his thoughts.
He wanted to tell her that she was scary. Scary because she affected him this much. "You could destroy me" he thought.
What if this was all just a messed up illusion in his own head? How could he ever know for sure she was the one? Could he believe that someone who had shown him so many times that she was fickle but not interested? Was it even real?
Even with all the doubts she still persisted in his mind and heart. It was not the first time a female had this affect, but was it different? Could she be trusted?
Even with all these questions he still wanted to tell her the truth, how he felt. That he deeply liked her. He wanted to tell her the truth. Maybe that would be the breaking point. The point at which she would turn her back and give him a definite answer.

There was only one thing to do. The unimaginable, terrifying, and ultimately decisive step. He had to open his mouth and let the truth be known.